There's a Lady Macbeth in all of us, desperately washing a stain that will never fade.

I'm flirting with every darn guy I see.


Is that good or bad? For me, of course... like it's ever good for a guy to get... attention... from the likes of me=D=D=D=D=D

Salsa class starting on friday!!! And after this weekend, I officially don't work Fridays and Saturdays for the rest of the term.

Not that I don't like the job (or the money, for that matter). I can't cope. Seriously. It's a miracle that I even got honours for my flamenco.


OHHHH~~~~! Haven't I told you? I got honours for both preparatorio and primer curso in flamenco!! Despite not being in top form because I had freakin' school exams the next day.


However, now dearest Angel wants my class to do secundo and tercera. Concurrently.

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGH!!! Die.

School comes first... school comes first...


Why is Valentine's Day so wretchedly close to my birthday? Not that I don't like my birthday when it is... there's a perk that comes with having your birthday on the 2nd day of the lunar new year...


Bio-clock keeps insisting I need a guy. Brain keeps saying: why? Being single and unavailable means I can flirt all I want!! And that little muscle that keeps my blood circulating feels like it's pumping very very viscous blood (actually, that might be true... once a camel, always a camel).


I'm in love with COUNTERTENORS!!!!!! ANDREAS SCHOLL!!! DAMIEN GUILLON!!!

Truly the voices of angels. Or, at least, as close as one will ever get.

The definition of clinical depression shouldn't be this vague. Nearly every criteria suits me. Am I depressed? Although I have always been inclined to suspect so, logic tells me, "not likely".


I'm going for the suicide mission for communications individual presentation. Only two more days to decide whether or not I want to switch topics...


A c a d e m i c s c a m... once upon a time, I would've been staunch about avoiding it at all costs. Now? Well, let's just say that I'm being trained to be in business, and not even a moral business is completely clean. Just look at it. A moral business. Nobody's getting hurt or shortchanged except me anyway. And right now, our focus is our grades.


Gonna die this term.


Why do I still hope for something I know won't be... That's the combination of the idealist and the sadist in me. I take pleasure in wallowing in my sorrow.


My stage director is also my business law TA. How wonderful.


I need CASH!!!

Human philosophy is beyond sophisticated, but our habits and cravings remain instinctively primitive.

Announcement:

I'm single and completely unavailable!! Mostly because of heavy workload and poor time plan.

But if any foolish guy decides to approach me within the year, I might just accept if:
- the guy is a nice guy
- the guy's cute enough in one way or another
- the guy can accept that I am STILL obsessing over somebody else
- last but not least: the guy wins me over. In which case I guess he wouldn't have to worry about my obsessing over somebody else. But this will be very difficult within the next year me guesses.

Enough time has passed for it to seem like reality has reality into a vivid dream, but not enough to loosen the knot in my chest. Maybe it's just stress though.

Andrea Scholl's lyrics now wring my heart when I hear them: " ... and I will never find a love like this again."

Indeed, it feels like I'll not find someone with whom I felt so compatible with, but hey, it's got to work both ways right? Way past the time to let go.

Biological clock can wreck much emotional disaster. I wonder why it still exists in this day and age.

I don't like this term. I hope biz law project ends with the handing up of our report.

Wish I was more useful to the LTB group though.

In a war between two parties, the winner is the third watching the show.

Switch to google? ... Well, they're going to do it for me sooner or later right? No hurry.


Finally managed to watch DeathNote 2: The Last Name. Brilliant ending to the... what would you call it... bilogy?


Anyway, the story picks up from where the first movie left off, with the introduction of the second Kira and a new Shikigami, and the funeral of Shiori. This time, the cat-and-mouse chase is transferred from the players themselves to the ownership of the Deathnotes.


Here in this second movie, we witness just how supremely Light seats himself as a god. He not only creates elabourate setups leading the authorities and L on a roundabout, he shows no hesitation in risking his memory, the lives of his allies and manipulating the Shikigamis to his own will. This confidence-turned-arrogance will lead to the one miscalculation required to bring his downfall.


L is still the lovable anti-hero. While he is mainly portrayed as a brilliant player in an elabourate game in the first film, here he is falling, no longer at the top of his game, with a deteriorating confidence in contrast with Light's increasing arrogance. L is beginning to take greater risks, and riskier gambles in his desperation to win this game that he seems to realise is less of a game and more of a massacre (that last bit is not explicit, just my interpretation). However, as with all gamblers, there is a high chance that he will lose more than he has staked.


The character displaying the greatest amount of strength is the father of Light, Chief of the Police department, who heads a small team in collaboration with L. As with all fathers, he is naturally unwilling to believe his son is a mass murderer. But his strength shows not only in his avid defence of his family, but also his sacrificial willingness to carry the burden of withholding all the crucial information, even from the ones he loves, to ensure their well-being and uphold justice.


Misa is basically a celebrity brat, until she is faced with assisting Kira. She reveres Kira as her benefactor, and devotes herself completely to fulfilling the goals and orders of Kira, even having her life halved twice so that Kira may use the eyes of the Shikigami without having to make the deal himself. A deeply disturbed child in reality, a prey taking refuge as a predator, she is ultimately and ironically the only witness from the inner circle left... who becomes witness to nothing.


I think the most underdeveloped character is Watari. In both films, there is a clear bond implied between L and Watari, and the role of Watari is played with great gravitas... but the character is serverely underused. Throughout the two films, his only purpose has been to be L's manager and messenger. The exact nature of his relation and companionship to L is left completely unexplored. Then again, the purpose of the films are not dependent on this anyway.


Oh, and amidst all these games, guess who the real winner is? Ryuk. Cleverly masquerading as an unnecessary gimmick throughout the two films.


Who was the Last Name in the end? Well, it never really ends, does it?

就算过去，依旧遗憾。

你述说鱼和水的故事，
究竟是对谁说呢？
鱼是在水的心中；
你若盼自己是鱼，
那你目中的水
是谁？

我也曾盼自己是鱼，
望你是水，
可是我有情，
你无意。

既然曾把心让给你，
自然现在愿你能在你选择的水心中得福。
只不过，
可惜我毕竟无法成为给予你幸福生命的源泉。

No one can ever find complete fulfilment in life, unless one finds fulfilment in fulfilling.

Lesson on friday wasn't too bad.


3 hour interval before work turned out quite traumatic (I forgot my jazz shoes, and I couldn't possibly go dancing around in my workplace in heels that could get me unemployed if I trodded on some kid's toes. So I had to travel home, get my shoes, before starting on another 1 hour journey to work)


Work was VERY traumatic. Shan't dive into it because I'd rather forget it than immortalise in on my blog. Well, maybe not immortal to you, but immortal to me.


Loco night was rather pleasant, only I really, really wish I could follow better. And be less paranoid.


One thing about dancing with strangers: no matter how badly you dance, it's more likely you won't see them again.

Within a community circle though... hum. Even if it is safer.


Going for salsa intermediate.



My paranoia has been increasing exponentially. Must be my biological clock ticking.


... in addition, of course, to my late night rendevous' with a certain Tablet Fujitsu.

Gab is a gift; Listening is learned.

Inspired by some contents of The New Scientist, relayed to me by my mum:

Our Father, who art in heaven,

Harrowed be Thy name (very much so, I believe
(Or: "Harriets be Thy name", in which case a rich egyption heir sits on the throne of heaven... hmmmmm...)

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done

On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day our dairy bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those who tres. past e gangsters

And lead us not into Thames Station

But deliver us from weevil

For thyme is the Kingdom, and the Glory, and the Power

Forever and ever

Amen.


... Apparently, during some funeral service, there be one in the congregation who thought the paster said:

"... In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and into the hole you goes."

... And yet another poor soul who heard:

"Hail Mary, full of grains"

... Well, at least it isn't "... full of glaze".

Oh, and:

"Oh, gladly the cross-eyed bear" (see if you can figure this one out... I didn't till my mother told me).


Reminds of a time when a pastor came to my primary school for a christmas service, and read out a huge load of absurdly-phrased bulletins from various churches, one which included:

"Don't kill yourself... Let the church help!"

... Err, no thanks... I really want to live now... really...




Anyways, school's begun, FA isn't so bad, managed to sell off one textbook, did not manage to fit in a run or a swim since the beginning of the new year, managed to clinch a place in this year's annual production, looking forward to the possibility of loco night on friday (not much chance of that happening though... still...), looking forward to salsa nights on tuesdays (wonder if I need to pay)... very disappointed at not being able to sneak off to expo for the new year's... very happy with my recently chopped locks (though I'm getting the illusion that my hair seems to suddenly be growing at a phenomenal rate)...

Very happy with my new skirt, even if it's black... hoping to swish it in one of the salsa nights...

Not quite looking forward to work, but I guess I'll learn to like it again.


Most of all, looking forward to... BOYS!!!





Oh, come on... don't look at me like that... really... why are you all holding heavy things in your hands...