The hardest choices are made easy once you set your mind to it.

OKAY. FIRST UP. I KNOW YOU ALL REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE TWO THINGS ON MY BLOG: one, sappy stuff; and two, preachy religious stuff.

But today marks a new threshold for me, and I really really think I should dedicate this post to the Big Guy up there, and this time I can't really do that without bringing up the sappy stuff.

So at the risk of being discovered by unwanted eyes, at the risk of losing the little (or no) cred my blog has left, at the risk of making YOU, the reader, choke/vomit/have your day ruined, I shall BLOG IT.


Sorry. On with the blog.


* Why today marks a new threshold for me: today I have finally done what I've always told myself I should do, been what I keep telling myself I should be.

Remember I said I was leading myself into another heartbreak? I was almost right.

A really obvious line on a really obvious somebody's msn nickname caught my eye, so I figured he was depressed. Over a girl. Very likely (and later proven to be) another girl, not me.

And I didn't know whether I should or shouldn't say anything. So I prayed such:

Lord, please give me the courage to talk to him; give me the wisdom to say the right words; give me the compassion, the will to be a friend. Let me be a friend, don't let my jealousy get in the way. Give me the right words.

Then I proceeded to type. I'm not going to put the actual conversation here; that would just be asking for it. But the gist of it goes something like:

I tell him I know he's depressed and ask him why. He tells me he failed his driving test for the n-th time and shortly afterward his girlfriend dumped him. But wait: it's not the being dumped that's bothering him (actually saved him the bother), it's the fact that he got a new girlfriend less than a few hours later and he's expecting (as I do, and many probably would) a blow-up from the ex due to the abnormally short time frame in between. Not to mention he feels a bit strange about it (whether he knows it or not, it's probably guilt for the reason mentioned above).

So we went on to talk about random nonsense, coming back to the topic every now and then so he could pour out his frustrations about the multiple driving tests and the taboo timeframe, and I could give him some advice, some real advice, and some words of sympathy and comfort. And every time funny thoughts started seeping in (eg: he's changed girlfriends at least twice since we split a year ago and I'm still here apparently in mourning for no good reason), I ask the Big Guy up there to not let "me" take over, and just continue being the necessary friend.

My core piece of advice was this: Move on (and in my head I thought: I did - or tried to at least), let it off the system into some game or whatnot, coz his new girlfriend would want his attention the next time they met. And take a long sabbatical from driving tests.

I think it was the nonsense that cheered him up though. Apparently he's taking my advice and playing dota now.


The best bit of all this is: I never really felt too upset the entire time. In fact there were many times I could really laugh out loud. And I genuinely feel happy that he's feeling better.


Some of you may remember my little pseudo-philosophy: Love is a choice; to stay away from someone you really want to have beside you, or to stay with the person you loathe, or to stay close to a person as a friend knowing you will never be more, no matter how painful it is, just so the said person can breathe a little easier, can smile, can have any upset alleviated just a little.

Today, I finally did it. And I sincerely thank the Big Guy up there for it.*