How precious is the little that we suffer so much for.

Right-o... Production is over!! I must say this is the most painful stage experience yet that I've been through, but hey, it's the stage. I have an obsession. There you have it.

Got some pretty touching letters from my directors, sm and a fellow cast... but for some of them, I do have my reservations... not sure if what they wrote was really felt heart and soul, or if they spent hours trying to put words to me in the right manner so I'd feel appreciated for all the pain I put them through.

Didn't sound right? No worries. You're right on cue. That meant exactly as you read it.

Especially my poor suffering director.

What can I say? I'm paranoid. Always have been. A paranoid idealistic opportunist. Digest that.


Siauw Chong dragged me to go see Tan Kheng Hua and Lim Yu Beng on the 2nd night of performance (not that I wasn't willing; of course I was! ... I was just hesitant about whether I was going to be more of a pleasure or a nuisance to them; they'd already spotted me looking at them more than once, after we'd exchanged a nod)

Never got to speak to Mr. Lim, unfortunately. Got to speak to Ms. Tan, and till now I'm still not sure what kind of impression I made.

When I told my dear mummy about the two of them coming to see the play, she asked a question that I didn't quite understand until hours later: Did Tan Kheng Hua recognise me?


In my mind, I went, "... what?..."


Hours later, in the shower (my mum had a meeting with her friends, and so I got held back from bathing and sleeping earlier that night), I finally remembered the three keywords:

Phua Chu Kang.

Goodness gracious. No wonder I had no impression. It was nine years ago.

A little background information for those not in the know: nine years ago, when I was 11, I got a part in Phua Chu Kang Pte Ltd as a yoyo-playing schoolgirl offering ribena to King Kong, who was at the time wearing a school uniform masquerading as a student, who gets kidnapped by mistake by a bunch of people seeking revenge on Phua Chu Kang. I remember that episode was called, "Big Brother is Watching You". I got a hundred bucks for that, which was pretty cool to an eleven-year old at the time.

I could tell you some juicy stuff about what happened, but first of all, it's not related to my point, and secondly, this blog is not password-protected, so I'd better watch my tongue. Fingers. Whatever (not the drink!).

And to those of you who know who you are, stop trying to imagine, or cook up a story of, what it could be. You'd be far off track.

Anyways, mumzy was mistaken. There was nothing for Ms. Tan to remember about me; we never met. Throughout the rehearsals I went to and during the shoot, I encountered Gurmit, Marcus, Pierre, and the other children playing the role of the other students... but I never saw Irene Ng, Neo Swee Lin or Tan Kheng Hua.

A pity, come to think about it, that I forgot about that episode. Whilst I never met Ms. Tan prior to the 2nd night of SMU production, a mention of it would have made a great ice-breaker.
I would really have loved to talk to Ms. Tan and Mr. Lim about theatre and performing.


And what possessed me to write all this down with the risk of being found? I'm betting on the possibility that, since my blog has a very small audience (due to my recent moping spree), no one's going to find this blog except fans who google these actors' names, who will dismiss my story as some publicity stunt, and therefore not create much commotion except amongst themselves for gossip.


... Now that I've written it out, it looks like I'm betting on a long shot...

Just for fun (and because I just love doing ridiculous things), I'm going to leave it as it is and see if anything happens. If this blog closes down, you'll all know what happened.



Back to the school production. I have managed to impress the toughest critic of them all: my mother.

Believe me, it MEANS something. Not because she is my mother, but because she's not the typical mother who would watch her child's performance and say, "You're fabulous! The play was wonderful"; no... when her child asks her about such and such a scene, she'd go, "Was there such a scene? I don't know; I went out after I heard your scream from behind the curtain." Or she'd say, "... It's alright for a school play..."


I nearly didn't get her to come for Lao Jiu for this reason (it's nice to have a mother coax you into thinking you're great; it's nice to have a mother complement a play when you're obsessed with the stage; but if a stage-obsessed child finds out that the only reason parents come to watch the play on the sole account of parental love, and think nothing of, or is completely unimpressed with, the skill and style of the stage, it kinda hurts). In fact, I didn't. She eventually asked me for four tickets (atypical mother she may be, but she is still a mother, and my mother at that).


But this time was different, if only slightly. She said the characterisation on my part and with my 'husband' as a couple was, 'quite good!' And she continued to joke about it today as well, when we were wondering around Paragon looking for snack-a-roos... Usually she can't be bothered. She even said last night, "... maybe you are a rather solid actor..."


And nearly solely for this reason, I'd like to take this time (wasted though it might be since it won't be read) to thank my directors, Lou and Tabby, for giving me this part and your patience and support, and Dr. Margaret Chan for helping me fine-tune the character, even up to a day before opening night.


And I just have to thank the Big Guy up there as well... it's been a while since I've been able to sit on the stage alone, with no one on stage or in the audience, and just feel the stage breathe. I've missed that feeling.