A life worth living can be addicting.

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WARNING:

THIS IS GOING TO BE A REALLY MOPEY BLOG ENTRY.

STAY AWAY FOR YOUR OWN HEALTH BENEFIT.

READ ON AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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Classic case.


Nobody will admit they're wrong.


Me? Well, me too... Basically coz I'm really, really tired of being the only person who ever admits to being in the wrong. And because I'm the only person to ever do that, I've become the girl that couldn't be trusted, the girl that was always on the wrong foot, so on and so forth.


I'm so tired of this.


I really want to cry, but it's only going to make things worse. I'm tired to trying to secure and bridge emotions and ties and relations after every time I actually say what's really on my mind.


I'm getting better at keeping my mouth shut. But sometimes I really get the feeling that if I don't say something, nothing's going to change. Yet if I do, it just gets worse.


佛挡杀佛，神挡杀神


I wish I could live that way. Unfortunately, a long time ago I started dedicating my life to changing, evolving and eventually behaving the way others want me to. I begun trying to live for everybody else. Thankfully, much of that's been washed off. However, not completely.


And you know, when you hold something for far too long, it becomes a necessity instead of remaining a luxury. Kinda like handphones and internets. When we didn't have it, we didn't need it. Bull with that now. None of us will survive a week without them.


Why is it humans will always warp their memories so that they remember things in a way that someone else is at fault? It makes things so complicated, and half the time you don't know if you're on the right or wrong side of the argument, you just "know" you're right.


Once upon a time I had so many people to live for and so many selfish reasons to die. Then I was given so many reasons to live for myself, as well as for everyone else.


Whatever it is I'm going through now that's weighing me down, I hope it's temporary. And I hope someone gives me another reason to live my life for myself.


Life, to me, is a little like icecream: I've had a taste of it, and now I'm not quite willing to quit it just yet.