难得糊涂

How idle minds spend their time:

They play pick-up sticks with coffee stirrers.

This happened (taking into account the time at which I'm writing this entry) about 3 days ago. At the lawyers' place. My parents, a lawyer and a accountant. Goodness gracious. I joined in the fray.

By the way, sucking up a stick like a vacuum-cleaner works very well. The other stirrers didn't move.


Thank goodness for the CNY visiting on my birthday. Two birds with one stone!! Burden lightened for two projects.


I'm panicking. Econs and two FA projects are untouched. How on earth are we (am I) going to cope...

CIP looks like it's going to be done. Not the one I was planning, but it serves my purpose. Hope to revisit that plan one day though.

Ever wondered how all or certain figures of speech even came into existance? Like, "Died laughing".

Why am I writing at this ungodly hour of 4 am?


Because it's my birthday, and I'd like to share the following song with you:


~Happy birthday to me~
~I was born in a tree~
~With spiders and monkeys~
~And they all look like me~

~Happy birthday to me~
~I was made for the sea~
~And if the triggerfish are happy~
~Then I'd be dead meat!!~


How's that?


I miss my birthday manta... Maybe one day I'll get a birthday whaleshark... or a birthday school of scallop-hammerheads...


I have just found out that it is possible to laugh so hard that you suffocate. Literally.

Delusion is the process of wanting something so badly, you imagine it to be real just so as to satisfy yourself.

Happy Lunar New Year!! 新年快乐、万事如意、迎春接福、心想事成！

It's twelve midnight. Later, I needs go visiting with me mumz.

I need more ice-cream mochis.


Hotplate and steamboat for dinner!! At home, of course. Delicious...

Now then... when will I ever learn to never to pick a bacon off the hot plate and, without waiting two minutes, put it directly in my mouth... Mah tung's sthill burnin.

I love vermicilli. I love the after-dinner ice-cream mochis more.



Yes, world!! Celebrate!! I can see you eagerness, your excitement, your euphoria... how this has driven you to celebrate!! You couldn't wait to celebrate!! So you all celebrated my birthday one day earlier!!


No, no, no, no... you don't want to throw those at me... You'll need those mandarin oranges to go visiting...



PS: Thanks Daniel =p

Humans are by nature perverse.

Alright, I'm about two hours late... but Happy Valentines'!!!!

This is an ode to the lonely and the broken-hearted... Let's all dwell in our misery and depression together!!!

Yes, I know you're irritated. That's the point.

----------------------------------------

"Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."-- Romeo, Romeo and Juliet (Shakespeare)

"You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, it's true... But I don't know what to do... I have to face the truth. I will never be with you."---- a famous singer whom, unfortunately, I don't know because I'm not savvy with the current music scene.

Louis: And you can teach me this?... To be without regret?
Armand: Yes.
Louis: Then what a pair we could make, but what if it's a lesson I don't care to learn.
Armand: What do you mean?
Louis: What if all I have is my suffering, my regret?
Armand: Don't you want to lose it?
Louis: Why? So you can have that too? The heart that mourns her, her that you burnt to a cinder.
--- Interview with A Vampire (Anne Rice)

"And who will care for me, my dark angel, when you are gone?" Claudia, Interview with A Vampire (Anne Rice)

"Show me the meaning of being lonely. Is this the feeling I have to walk with. Tell me, girl, why can't I be where you are? There's something missing in my heart... There's nowhere to run, I have no place to go..."--- Backstreet Boys (gasp)

“她总是不言不语，黄昏等到天未明，拨弄着怀中那把无线琴……寂寞里，秋来出去、诺言随风都漂离；梦中人依旧没哓来一点消息……
一千零一夜，没有一夜不思念；每一份想念化做不成双的蝶；一千零一夜，没有一夜不流泪，流到心里面变成雪……
当有人劝她放弃，她会微笑看着你，手心中紧紧握着发黄的回忆。”---邰政肖

"... And I will never find a love like this again."--- Andreas Scholl

"Lone-ly~~~ I'm so lone-ly~~~ I have no-bah-dy~~~ I'm on my own~~~ OH-oh-oh~~~" --- no prizes for guessing

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Okay, now you are severely irritated. I need to sleep.

All the world's a stage, and all its men and women are merely players... So where's the script?

And the verdict for today's individual Comms presentation is~~~~~~ SUCCESS!!!!!!


YES!!


I was actually very nervous about it. You know why? Because my script was quite evidently overtime. As you all know. I was worried about getting cut off. And while that was, in the past, an empty threat, this is a business university I'm attending. Not only that, I'm competing with the best of the best (when you put a fraud in the midst of a group of real stuff, the fraud gets nervous... Past academic grades have proven I'm not the best of the best... just good at packaging). Thus, Professors have every reason to be stringent about the rules, no matter how petty.


Thankfully, I managed to be EXTRA relaxed and confident during my 4 minutes of fame (prayer helps... the weird--- and cool--- thing about religious faith is that if you really believe it, but you don't use it to bl***y show off, it works for the most minor of stuff). Basically, other than some sentences I really, really liked, almost everything I said or did was not according to the original script (points were still there, in order, but everything else was not). Which is partly why it took more than 4 minutes. Still, the point is that everybody loved it (more importantly, the professor enjoyed it, but don't tell her that this publically accessible blog has it written such).


My decision to pick two victims--- as well as my choice of the two victims--- was good.


Feel like sopping again. STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP.

It's as if those messages are for me, yet I have reason to doubt. But how can timing be so perfect? Sometimes they just are. The human mind perceives what it wants to perceive. That's why instincts are so hard to train, and people with good instincts are hard to come by.


STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP.


*beep* why is it that for all the abnormal traits I undertake, I'm still normal enough to be bound to this ridiculous insanity...


Well, I guess some part of me had to be human. Shucks.


Shall I go salsa night on tuesday? Is it worth it?


O-GAE DOBBIT.

Some things never change, but time never stands still.

And I thought the saga was over.

I was having a nice walk in the park today (Tuesday) when this old uncle on a bicycle tried to pick me up. Well, not that old, but old enough to stop picking on girls half his age. The conversation went something like this:


uncle: 请问现在几点？
me: 九点十个字。
哦，谢谢你。
嗯。(start to move off)
(follows on his bicycle)你每天晚上都出来散步啊？
不是每天。
你会骑脚车吗？
(??)会。
你是中学生吗？
我是XX大学的人。
从中国来的？
(not again...)不是。
新加坡人啊？
嗯。
哦~你住在 ang mo kio 啊？
(should I start running?) 不是。
在这里附近？
(spying the units near the park, none of which I reside in)嗯。在这里。
你叫什么名字？
(If I want to run, he's got a bicycle; but this is one of those people I can't tell my name to and hope to get away with it) …… 我性X。
姓X……哦~~我叫simon。(holds out hand for a handshake)
(Sensing no danger yet, I shake his hand) 哦。simon。
你每天晚上出来散步？
(???) 不是每天。
你会骑脚车吗？
(what the...?) 会啊。
来，我让你骑。
(!!)不用了，我今天不想骑。
请问可以给我你的电话吗？
(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)……我没带电话。
没有啦……电话号码……
…… 我的号码我自己都不清楚诶~
(can finally affirm that this guy won't chase me on his bicycle)
我失陪了。(start jogging)


... Like, why is it perverted people are always leeching on me? GO AWAY.


On a brighter side, I got the Comms TA all to myself today for consultation (mainly coz nobody else could make it today, so I had all the time in the world). It really helped (in the wee hours of morning I was working hard to reduce 8 min worth of presentation to 4 min; but my max is 3 min. What presentation can you do in 3 min?).

As usual, he was dressed casually but with a dash of spunk. And he was wearing cologne (which was nice; not overdone).

Ready for one of my famous conspiracy theories?

I think the TA likes me =D

Here's why I think so:

• Apparently, one of my coursemates had booked a slot tomorrow via email, and the TA had replied to her asking if I was going to be coming with her. This was prior to the time I booked the TA for a slot today in the wee hours of the morning via email. I know this because she sent a mail stating all this while asking if I was coming with her.

• He had given me his handphone number to contact him at the time he appointed, and later said repeatedly that if I had anymore problems or questions, I could drop him a mail or 'just give me a call'.
• However, TA dear also requested that I do not circulate his handphone number because 'I'm already very scared (of people calling him at odd times to ask for help)'.
• Okay, so everybody wants his help, I know... what makes him think they'll call him at odd times and I won't? Do I get the feeling that he's trying to restrict his contact to me?

• TA was very interested in walking me out and opening doors for me and asking about personal stuff I leak out or sensitive issues. He keeps saying, " You can be frank with me. I don't mind." Another thing is that he seemed to like close proximity when walking together.

Well, assuming that all my conspiracy theories hold, my TA has rivals. Two, to be sure. Unless you also count the one I haven't yet let go, but let's not go there.

So there you have it. I shan't divulge on the other two for the time being.

Oh, and by the way, I do not include chee ko peks in my list of suitors.

Perfection resides in perception.

Right. You lot better hope to goodness that somebody successfully courts me soon, or you're never going to see this blog rise from sappiness.


Anyway. About today.

Show And Tell was a brimming success!!! Graded or no graded, looks like our time spent on the model apartments worked. And the construction helmets. And the PCK boots. I love my LTB group. I hate LTB though.


Latin Feste!! Salsa rocks!!

My hips don't lie... Do yours?

The guy that was once my match was very good. Unfortunately for him, somebody else roped in more votes from friends. Or maybe it's just my perception. Got to dance with him again after the Feste. With better results this time. He tried to make me do a dip. However, I didn't know what he was doing, so I ended up pretty stiff. Still, it was fun.


His competition partner was GOOD.


Went to loco night after the Feste. Not many people, but at least I got to dance (I thought I was just going to be stuck listening to music all night). Guess what? I'm getting better at following!! One proof is that I'm doing a lot of moves that I don't know how to do. IT WAS REALLY COOL.

Everyone should learn salsa. The basics are simple.

Righto... done? Done?

Sap time.

He knows I still feel for him. He knows that, and though he doesn't reciprocate, he doesn't avoid it. And I know it didn't work out, and there's no point pursuing it anymore. But who was it he was looking for in the crowd today? Was it someone else? Was it me? If it was me, was he looking for a friend, a sister, or a memory? A feeling?

I think too much. I'm a hazard unto myself.

But I wouldn't give up this heartache for anything. There's a certain security in knowing that I'm not numb. I can still feel.

I miss... someone. Some people. Some things. Some aspects of living.

But Time stops for no one.

Reminders aren't always good...

These two days I've been thinking: maybe I'm finally getting a move on. Perhaps I've made my 'transference of affection'. Maybe now I'll stop pining over something that isn't mine.

Meanwhile, there's also this thought at the back of my head: You sure not? What if you see him again? What if you see his face or his name or hear his voice again? You so c*** sure you've moved on?

I got my answer just now. An email had gone round regarding the Latin Fest. That included the mention of the 5 pairs of salsa competitors. Guess who's picture-- and name--- pops up first in line, clearest of the ten pictures.


And now I'm feeling very, very, very depressed. And now I'm REALLY wondering whether or not I should attend Latin Fest.


Screw it. I'll cross my bridges when I get to them.