追着一个追不到的梦，只为了那蛛丝般的一丝光芒。

Muhahahhahhaha... I've got free drinks before. Let's see if I can wager a free meal out of this one.


AS presentation tomorrow. BGS presentation on monday. Gah.


I'm always so proud of myself everytime I managed to finish matlab exercises on time. Well, not really, today... but at least it didn't stretch till 2pm.


Somebody's written on his msn name: You only want the things that you can't have. Ain't that true. *pout*


Patience... stay the course... leave it till December, when nobody has exams to worry about.


I'm procrastinating. Why am I procrastinating. It isn't like me to procrastinate on something like a presentation.


Oh yah. Because I'm not sufficiently prepared for it. Bleh.


I resolve to watch Death Note next week.


I wanna go for a Halloween party~~~~

It doesn't take much to please you if you don't expect anything.

Strawberries and cream is good. Strawberry + sugar + vanilla + cream is berry good.


I love cream.


I love presentations when I'm actually prepared for them. Doesn't look like it's going to be the case. But hopefully, it'll all work out.


Hopefully.


I COMPLETED MY ESSAY AND MY QF!!! Praise me. Feed me cream.


Craving for ikura never goes away.


I need to go swimming. I miss swimming.


I need to go for a massage.


I need to decide when I want my audition.


I need to keep my head organised. I'll have you know that's not easy for me. Wait. You already know that's near impossible.


I need a hug. I need to know that I don't have to be strong all the time.


I need cream.


I need to lounge for a few days. I don't have a few days.


I need to get money. I need to give them a reason not to sell. Where do I get this money?


I'm no use when an actual critical situation arises.


CREAM ME.

Okay, I was going to test out this audio blog thing, but never mind.


I scored full marks for stats mid-term!! Yay!! *I like to move it move it; you like to move it move it~~*


Anyone need stats tuition? I charge $5000 an hour.


In first quartile for BGS class participation!!


I've got two assignments due Wednesday. Nooooooo....


I want to watch Deathnote. I want.


Need to dance. Need to groove.


I smacked a mosquito down on the mrt today. It shouldn't have been a big deal, we smack down mosquitos all the time; but the whole process after that just scares me.


It was still alive. Full of somebody's blood. Barely alive. Still struggling. I picked it up, observed it, prodded it... just couldn't bring myself to squish it. And mind, it wasn't because I felt sorry for it.


There was this thrill, this rush, in watching it die, instead of letting it die.


I kept telling myself, just squish it, the poor fellow's in pain. But I just kept watching it. And I was delighting in it.


Am I really that morbid? Sometimes it's just a game, but sometimes... it's like a latent obsession. I don't look for it, but I don't hide from it, and I certainly don't do anything that will cut short that period of time.


Another thing: I find I like to watch. To listen. I like to be the dormant one. I like to just sit, observe, listen, and say and do nothing. Stop watching. Do something. So many stupid, stupid things have happened just because I waited. Waited, without any intention to act.


I need to get a life.

This is going to be another one of those entries that should be very long, but is cut short because I need sleep, and cannot be done any other time because I seriously need to dedicate the time when I am awake to do homework.


It's going to be a hell of a next two days.


Anyway, watched The Prestige just now. It's not arthouse, but it's a thinking film.


My goodness. So many subtle hints. I'm still trying to figure out if there's any more.


I pity the wife of Borden. Poor creature.


And the two magicians... are pure idiots.


But that's what obsession turns you into.


The diaries are a killer. Metaphorically.


Poor tesla has been framed, methinks. But the presence of his character makes the subsequent storyline much more plausible.


Actually, I realise I can't say too much here without revealling the several cruxes in the storyline.


So, just go watch it. Just make sure the girls come with a good boyfriend or a strong stomach.


And if you haven't figured things out in the end... let's just say that there are 100 corpses lying somewhere. 101.

Why is it so hard to believe in miracles when it's so easy to believe in magic?

I have just discovered the meaning of the word "psychedelic". And I'm it. And no, it's not something to do with being psychic. It's something to do with believing you're psychic.


I hath wronged the poor cabbie I mentioned afore. He was not trying some pick up. He was trying to eliminate competition by marketing himself as a cabbie-come-chauffeur. Apparently it's a tactic that's gaining popularity amongst cabbies. My sincere apologies. I'm psychedelic.


Looks as if my match doesn't want me anymore. Oh well. With my psychedelic abilities, I'm sure I can find another guy.


I have to do work. Period.


I prefer using British spelling, but American sentence structure. Why is that?


I'm still in denial. That's not good.


Two pairs of new heels, two new spag-lace tops... What am I turning into...


Oh. I know. I'm becoming normal.


Waitwaitwaitwaitwait... is that even possible? I think I'm too far down in the bottomless pit of anomalies. Then again, one never knows...


Shall we take a poll?


A) 2p's brain and mental state are both normal.
B) 2p's brain is normal, and her mental state is approaching normal.
C) 2p's brain is normal, her mental state is not.
D) 2p's brain has a screw loose.
E) 2p's brain has a missing screw.
F) 2p's brain has several missing screws.
G) 2p's brain has no screws.
H) 2p's brain was a result of a failed genetic experiment in the local equivalent of Area 51.
I) 2p's brain had been experimented on by aliens when she'd been abducted.
J) 2p's brain had been zapped badly by aliens when she ran after them screaming and waving.
K) 2p is enlightened beyond the realm of thinking of all others.
L) 2p has a brain?
M) 2p needs a brain?
N) 2p's human? Not the One Who-Preceeds-The-Great-Apocalypse-And-Summons-The-End-Of-The-Universe?


Tag your votes!! (maybe I should put this outside the blogspace...)

By the way... that's a red herring...

Yet another early morning blog. This time mostly because I'm in denial of the fact that I still have to go to work tomorrow.


A cabbie just tried to pick me up. While I was in his cab. Do you believe that? I wouldn't have believed that. But it happened. Believe the unbelievable.


Details, well... I just recited the whole lot to somebody, don't feel like doing it again.


I'M GETTING AN AUDITION!!! THE WAIT WAS WELL WORTH IT!!!


I've got lots of work due on week ten... wasting my weekends on working life is so not worth it.

If you want to play with fire, either you know how to douse it, or you can run faster than it spreads, or you just don't start it.

I'm up writing my blog at this ungodly hour because tomorrow, I cannot afford to use any time on this. Doesn't help that I'm going to be waking up late, thanks in no small part to my commitment (ie: relishment) in bringing you the latest, most scandalous happenings about moi (as usual, I try not to place rumours and gossip about anyone else but me).


As promised, I went clubbing... ALONE!!!!


First thing that happened to me (and this is nowhere near exciting) was that I arrived at my destination 2 hours early. MOS only opens at 9pm. I guess I could've headed back to school to do research, but being the lazy person that I am, I just gawked around till opening time, and wasted yet another 2 hours waiting for the crowd to arrive.


I know what the staff are going to talk about tomorrow: That long-haired girl in pink that sat there and didn't ask for any drinks. They offered; part of their job. I declined. For good reason, and it was probably fortunate that I did.


Anyway, the crowd came, but not many people were on the floor. I got fed up of waiting for 1) a guy to come with pick up attempt; and 2) for the floor to fill up. So I went ahead and chose a corner to dance by myself. Which was fine, though it wasn't spectacular. I just drowned myself in the music (I was right next to the speakers).


As the floor filled up, I just stuck to my spot. And then very, vey slowly, this group somehow included me in its small circle. So I danced with them. Got persuaded into doing a 5 second number in the middle, then started responding to the dance/flirt cues from a malay-chinese guy as well as a foreigner (note: ang moh). For the most part, the local guy was more sucessful. The foreigner got the upper hand for a while, but lost it soon enough (anyway, I think his girlfriend, if she is his girlfriend, was getting jealous... not very sure though...).


As time went on... well, if you saw me dancing with this guy today/tonight/yesterday/this morning, you'd be severely worried for me. He was a good dancer, though. Taught me a lot of moves. And was gentleman enough to keep his hands from straying too much, or I would've split earlier.


Bugger tried to kiss me. And he was smooth. That was something I didn't expect, but thankfully had prepared myself against this unlikely scenario against all odds, and he got close, but not close enough.


He tried twice more, but he never got as close. The gentleman in him stopped trying after that.


And part of the time I'm wondering whether I should run off and wait for a different pick up. But I was enjoying myself, so...

He asked me for my number. I twirled out, smiled... and slithered off like the eel that I am. I wanted to go into another room for social experiment number two, but it was 1.32am. So I just came home.


And tomorrow, I will pay full price for tonight. School work and home disciplinary. More than fair enough, I know.


Was it worthwhile? Morality and ethics aside... oh yeah.

Language is a funny thing. Can't live without it, but when you have it you abuse it.

For someone who doesn't like me in that way, he sure is flirting a lot. I'm talking about teacher L. The one 4 years older than me and helping out in the ACCCS.


Yesterday, we were talking on msn, and he asked that I call him by name instead of addressing him as teacher, since we were privately friends, and the term "teacher" was awkward between us. Suspicious.


Anyway... one of my many conspiracy theories.


Waiting to collect artwork.


No meeting with match today. He's apparently got presentation.


In any case, I forgot my handphone, so I'm going to be on jitters all day. Talk about over-reliance on electrical appliances.


In case you didn't notice, that rhymes.


Listening to mp3.


I'll probably go MOS instead of Zouk next week. And yes, I intend to go alone. Otherwise, I can't flirt. Unless of course you feel like documenting the art of flirting.


On Saturday, I'm having stats mid-terms in the morning, then work in the afternoon, then come back to school for mid-autumn festival.


If you didn't catch the joke, you're really slow.


I don't want to take mid-terms~~~

Crazy? Ridiculous? Insane? Tell that to Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci and Hitler.

I love E-zone. Spent 10 bucks there today on fighting games, parapara and more fighting games.


Wonderful therapy, that...


Crazy bear won't get to make an appearance.


I think too much. And yet too little.


I'm confused.


Maybe I'll go clubbing at Zouk's next Wed. One of the few sneaky chances I'll get. Dress up, go there and start conducting my own private social experiment: Sit there, look pretty, and wait to get picked up.


Dangerous game? Maybe. But that depends on whether I actually execute the plan.


Even if I do manage to, you should pity the guy who tries to do anything to me. By experience, anyway. Things are unpredictable. That's partly why I became the venomous lady in the first place.


We'll see, we'll see...


Argh... Stats midterms on Saturday. Why me...

Depression is treatable. It is also recurring.

It seems my immune system is lazy too. According to my recent blood test check, I'm still vulnerable to hepititis A, even though I've been innoculated. Oh well.


In school now. Playing around with new toys on my computer.


Had a very grumpy yesterday. Snapped at my mother. Sheeesh. I must be really strung up.


I'm in need of counselling. I need to whack somebody. Where's my giant axe...


Stayed up till 2.30am this morn coz someone wanted to check answers. Works for me too, but 2.30am in the morning is not good.


Mother wants me to see eye doctor.


I want to get rid of my brain. It dwells too much and too long on all the wrong things.


Been really vindictive in class... venom's building up like nobody's business.


Consider yourself warned...



UPDATE: 1030

Another guy around my finger... muhahahahhaha... poor guy... nice guy...

Plans in progress to use my little bear as an envoy...